Frankston to Portsea 2020

Frankston to Portsea 55km Run 55km/34 miles

Sunday 6th December 2020

1.	Michael Clarke	4:29:42
2.	Richard Matison	4:50:50
3.	Rohan Day	4:57:39
4.	Tracy Feiner [F]	5:06:54
5.	David Spencer	5:12:49
6.	Gerry Sheridan	5:17:53
7.	Greg Plier	5:18:58
8.	Michael Mellech	5:20:32
9.	Jackie Goudy [F]	5:21:59
10.	Bryce Angell	5:23:38
11.	Justin Jeffery	5:26:16
12.	Paul Spencer	5:35:53
13.	Jody Daff [F]	5:43:20
14.	David Talamelli	5:54:23
15.	Andre Schertel	6:14:40
16.	Brad Ryan	6:27:01
17.	Anne Ziogos [F]	6:35:35
17.	Maureen Wilson [F]	6:35:35
19.	Frank Palermo	6:45:25
20.	Jon Lim	6:57:55
21.	George Thomas	7:40:45

Report by Kevin Cassidy

Pardon the interlude but we’re only eight months late in what has been a seriously weird year. Courtesy of an illness doing a rapid circumnavigation of the globe along with a raft of bemusing and idiotic rules from our state government that seemed to change with a similar frequency to a babies nappy, our regular April timeslot was subject to numerous and confusing date adjustments. I’ve no doubt that Victoria’s COVID rules were designed by the Seven Dwarves with Dopey holding down the position of “Chief Consultant” alongside Sergeant Schultz as his deputy.

With sporting events finally getting the green light, it was predictable that a large volume of races would be piled upon each other in the concluding weeks of the year.  A kaleidoscope of ultramarathon events across the country all fell on the same weekend. The previous day saw the inaugural Mornington to Portsea marathon and shorter options [originally planned for July] on basically our same course while the Surf Coast Century 100km took place on the other side of the bay. My overwhelming fear of a December date was striking an uncomfortably hot day. Such fears were quickly dispelled. The cold howling gale that would be punching into runners faces the entire way was probably more wintery than any April days I can remember. Conditions closely resembled 2018 when we were almost blown off the face of the earth!

Two trains of thought were running through my mind as I motored down the Frankston freeway in the dark small hours dodging a slow moving camper van weaving across both lanes of the carriageway. Either a small field due to the numerous clashing events or a large turnout of frustrated runners grabbing the first opportunity in many months to run in an actual race.

The day started “promisingly” for me as I turned into our regular meeting point in the carpark behind The Deck nightclub. “SPLAT”, a meaty size insect decided to distribute all its internal organs across my windscreen!

By 6am, nineteen runners had gathered and were quickly underway, passing all the pleasant dozing houses on Olivers Hill. Amongst the field were a couple of royal guests in Mr Two Bays himself, Rohan Day and Victorian Ultra Runners Grand Poobah, Jon Lim.

Up ahead was Andre Schertel having made a 3:50am start while the incomparable Justin Jeffery sent a quick text saying he had slept in and would be starting about 30 minutes late!!

Heading towards Mornington, runners had stretched out into their natural order with Rohan Day, Michael Clarke and Richard Matison rapidly breaking away. Not overly far behind was David Spencer and my racewalking training buddy, Tracy Feiner making her ultrarunning debut. Most would be unaware that Tracy is the current Australian 50km racewalking champion.

With the pointy end of the field approaching 20km, I spun my ute around to check the progress of those further back. George Thomas was bowling along cheerily. Jody Daff looked comfortable as did Greg Plier and Paul Spencer. Paul and brother David have somewhat of a rivalry on the “most prolific runners” list. David clocking up his eighth run here to Paul’s seven!

Anne Ziogos and Maureen Wilson had paired up and appeared to be in an agreeable mood. Maureen is well known as a member of the coaching staff at the Saint Kilda Football Club and zooms around town in a 70s model Datsun!

The sleep deprived Justin Jeffery eventually surfaced and was quickly reeling in several others in the most commanding of fashions. Not content with a 25 minute delay, Justin run almost a kilometre before it dawned on him that he hadn’t set his watch! He turned around, ran back and started again! This time his watch was tick tick ticking !

Musing over the brand of the traditional finishers chocolate for 2020, I made the all important executive decision to purchase Freddo Frogs and promptly ambled into the Dromana Coles. Disinclined to wait behind a slow moving checkout queue, I made haste to the self serve area promptly making a mess of the electronic process. Modern technology and myself have never been a particularly good combination. Looking across to a nearby employee for assistance, I failed to get the attention of a rather rotund woman deep in conversation with another equally proportioned employee. I tuned in as she launched into a candid list of her poor husbands shortcomings, which were manifest to say the least. Craig [apparently that was his name] sounded like the most moronic man on earth. And on top of that, he was married to a woman who was loud mouthed, indiscreet and had a bum the size of a bus wheel. Watching her walk, she resembled a large moving bowl of jelly. God sure hadn’t blessed Craig with much in life. I really felt for the guy!

Further excitement followed as I attempted to escape the Coles car park only to be confronted with a cumbersome looking motorhome blocking the entire entrance. It was impossible to get past it.  Sitting in the drivers seat was the most unusual man. Long ratty hair and what looked to be a series of warts across his forehead. He quite seriously looked like a genetic experiment gone wrong. Pausing and wondering if I should risk my life by asking him to move, I was heartily relieved when the giant metal jalopy lurched forward and disappeared down the road.

The rhythmic swish of the pounding waves provided some lively interest and visual stimulation as the course moved onto the coast road through McCrae in the second half. The buffeting wind made it impossible to hold a straight line. I really felt for the runners.

At this point, Kate and Tim Ablett made a grand appearance and stuck with the run to the finish assisting Rohan and Clarkie. Kate even managed to raise the ire of a Portsea local later in the day with her decidedly proficient method of parking her large ute!

Soon after, Joanna Maidment graced us all with her royal presence then proceeded to zoom up and down the highway in her little red automobile tooting at random runners and making a spectacle of herself with the constant ringing of a substantially sized cow bell. I was out of ear shot most of the time, a fact for which I gave silent thanks.

Passing the marathon point at the Rye Pier, the three leaders were still within metres of each other and digging hard for all they were worth. The focus on their faces was unmistakable. Soon after, the immeasurable talent of Michael Clarke took over. Applying the afterburners, he powered away.

I made a beeline to the finish to meet the early starting Andre Schertel as he completed his run in a shade over six hours. Moments later, a dark Falcon ute appeared. “ Fancy Seein’ You Here” exclaimed Chris O’Brien from the comfort of the drivers seat. Chris is a two-time winner here and was keen to take in the proceedings.

Storming to a huge victory in 4:29:42, Clarkie had blown away all and sundry. Twenty minutes elapsed before the remainder of the field began to arrive having negotiated the rolling hills through Sorrento’s multi million dollar cliff top properties. Richard Matison finished with a smile followed by Rohan Day who promptly flaked in the middle of the traffic island at the national park entrance. Content to stay there for a while, he looked for all the world as if he’d been the victim of a hit and run! The shocked reaction from some of the arriving tourist crowd was amusing to say the least.

Clearly the most impressive was Tracy Feiner. Overtaking David Spencer in the final stages, she crossed the line in a notably slick time of a tad over five hours to the applause of her substantial entourage. It appeared like her entire extended family had turned out in support. Topping the podium in her first ultra. Does it get any better?

Peering back down the road, the horde began arriving in quick succession. Gerry Sheridan, Greg Plier, Michael Mellech, Jackie Goudy, Bryce Angell and Justin Jeffery were all within minutes of each other. Also under six hours were Paul Spencer, Jody Daff and David Talamelli.

Copious amounts of excited chatter was the order of the day between finished runners and various support crews. Soon after, Brad Ryan crossed the line with a grin not far ahead of the gruesome twosome, Anne Ziogos and Maureen Wilson. Next in was Frank Palermo who didn’t have the quickest of days. Following soon after was the directionally challenged Jon Lim. Jon decided to add a few kilometres to his journey by taking a detour onto the freeway in the early stages!  George Thomas was our final runner crossing the line in the middle of a rather short but somewhat drenching and annoying rain burst. Thanks for that impeccable timing, George!

Twenty one starters and twenty one finishers. All went home with the traditional chocolate and a fancy looking poster, courtesy of Rohan Day’s artistic flare and unique design skills.

As always, awaiting runners at the finish provides me with the entertainment of all those slow moving confused looking tourists arriving at the national park.  In particular, one looked like a human equivalent of Fred Flinstone but with much less charm. “Ay Mate”, he yelled from the seat of his ageing VW beetle, “Is this the Point Nepean National Park?”.  “I’m guessing it is”, I mumbled in return while pointing to the unmistakable large sign that conveys that very information! And then there was the monumentally thin woman with bright pink hair driving a red Mini Minor. Honestly, she would not have looked out of place sitting on a perch in a birdcage.

Ultra runners are often the butt of jokes in reference to their mental acuity or lack thereof. Taking this to dizzy new heights, Frank Palermo and Bryce Angell ran the inaugural Mornington to Portsea marathon the day prior for a 97km weekend! Make of that what you will.

My journey home was the perfect catalyst to enjoy some splendid isolation and contemplation. Sadly, the peace was abruptly interrupted by that seriously demented radio ad…HELLO….FRANK WALKER FROM NATIONAL TILES. Has there ever been a more irksome individual than Frank Walker?

Returning to our traditional time slot while avoiding Easter and the school holidays, the 2021 run is scheduled for April 18.